Are you smarter than a 5th grader? Naaah!!!

One night, Zoe was chatting with her sister who is working overseas...  

Zoe:  Denise, do you know where I can buy a Gong? My sister is 

         asking me to buy for her.

Moi:  Gong?  What is that?  Sounds like a musical instrument. 

Zoe:  No, she said it's for mixing spices...

Moi:  I don't know what that is.  Why don't you google it, or ask her to 

         send a picture.

Zoe:  Yeah you're right... okay I'll ask her.

Her sister then sends the picture...

Moi:  That's a Gong?  It looks like a mortar and pestle... heehee

Zoe:  Oh yeah!  It looks like a mortar and pestle.  Stupid sister! 

         hahaha (LOL)

Moi:  Hahaha!  I don't know where you can buy that from 

         though... Chinatown maybe?

Zoe:  I'm gonna tell her that her Gong looks like a mortar and 

         pestle... why the heck does she want it?

While typing eagerly to tell her sister how stupid she thinks her sister is for calling a Mortar and Pestle a "Gong", she stops and looks at me...

Zoe:  How do you spell Mortar and Pestle again?

I wanted to ask her, "where did you study your primary education again?  Coz I'm definitely not sending my kids there. hahaha!

"Eeew!!! Men here are not castrated"

I was watching TV peacefully in the living room when Zoe came home...

Zoe:  Hey!  I just found out something!

Moi:  What?

Zoe:  Majority of the men here are not castrated!

Moi:  Uhm... so?

Zoe:  Eeeeeew!!!  Hello!  It's not hygienic.   

Moi:  uh...

Zoe:  I can't believe it!  how can they not have those things removed

         when they were babies.

Moi:  Huh?  Do you mean circumsized instead?

Zoe:  Duh!  It's the same thing.  I'm not gonna get married here. 

         Yikes!

Moi:  ... (I'm speechless)

Thank God for TV!

Home-wrecker. Literally wrecks the house!

Argggh!  I won't be surprised if one day I come home and find out that I no longer have a house to live in.  Zoe is damn clumsy and very very very messy!  She likes to take things from the common area and hides it in her room for some weird reason.  Leaves her dirty and sweaty socks on the kitchen table and brushes her teeth on the kitchen sink without rinsing the excess toothpaste and her spit after.  So we're starting to have mildew and rust already.  She leaves her retainers in the dusty shelf without any container. (I feel like puking now...)  She breaks glass and other stuff one after another and makes up stories all the time which actually makes her look more stupid with all her fake and inconsistent alibis.  Nope she's not a kid, she's a professional who's older than me.  I just can't imagine how she behaves in the office.  Poor company!