Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Things I won't forget about you...

I mentioned before that I will probably forget that you exist the minute after I exit the door but you have made an impression that is not easy to forget. And so even though, I might forget your name, you will always be the 1st flatmare I ever had... (not that I want a 2nd nor a 3rd, but you know what I mean). So here are the things I won't forget about you...

* For having the ability to break or ruin things without even touching it... (you said you didn't but...whatever!)

*How you chew your food louder than how our dogs chew theirs.

* Your loud burp from the kitchen which I can clearly hear from my room even if the door is closed.

* What the food inside the refrigerator becomes after you leave it open the whole day

* Whenever you wash your face and brush your teeth at the kitchen sink and leave your toothpaste lying there without the lid.

* Your toothbrush and retainer which you leave on top of the refrigerator without any cover or protection and how you just rinse them and put them in your mouth...

* When you call me at night and asks me to open the door for you becoz you lost your keys for the 16th time.

* How you keep referring to yourself as obsessive-compulsive when you can't even locate your keys.

And of course how you have transformed the room you have taken over with your gift of interior design skills...

You are truly one of a kind... and I hope you really are just one... good luck to your new flatmates... I won't miss you! :)

Monday, September 21, 2009

Time to say goodbye... woohoo!

They say good things come to an end... well, so do bad things. It's time to finally say goodbye... erm... i don't think it would really be a good one, but who cares? Care bears? I'm sooooo glad that I was able to keep my sanity even though I feel like I was trapped in a psychiatric ward with one extreme and incurable patient. Anyways, a few more days to go and I'm finally waking up from this coma and of course that means, this blog will soon be left floating idle in cyber space.

Although I must admit, I will miss those sleepless nights when I write my new posts about her stupidity, evilness and narcissism... and of course, that's one less from the top list of topics of conversations with my friends and colleagues. Yes yes yes, it's gonna be a loss but that's one loss I'm never ever gonna regret. A minute after I get out of this house permanently, I might even forget about her existence already. hahaha!

Anyways, this won't be my last post. Grand finale to come! :)

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Her bestfriend's wedding... but she's not invited...

I was having a lovely dinner with my friend who brought me to a very nice place to celebrate my birthday. We sort of were catching up with each other because it's been quite a while since we had our last lunch or dinner together. Then, another "lost" friend gave me a call that night... and it was lucy. I thought she was gonna ask me if I'm home and if she can drop by at our place. But to my surprise, she said something else. She said she wanted to invite me to her wedding. Wow! That was fast... but of course I'm happy for her and I've met the guy and he seems decent enough. But before I could say anything, she said "But please don't tell Zoe, coz she's not invited." When I heard that phrase, I knew that my next blog will be about it. hahaha.

It's crazy, how can they claim that they're bestfriends but you don't invite them to your wedding? It's funny but sad at the same time. It's sad that Zoe is still living in her own world where she thinks everything she does is right and she's always the good guy. I don't know if she convinces herself everyday that she's perfect by looking at the mirror and saying "I'm perfect and everyone loves me" ten times or is it because of the people like Lucy who doesn't really speak up and doesn't let Zoe know about her flaws. From what I noticed, Zoe doesn't have real friends because everyone finds out what her true color is and stays away from her instead of telling her the truth.

To those who claim that they are Zoe's friend, please help her live in reality... then you can be what you claim to be.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

You don't have to be techie to know what a spam mail is...

One day Zoe was complaining about how a budget airline did not send her a booking confirmation via email. Then, I told her to call the airline but she said she doesn't want to spend money on calling them since it takes a while for her call to get through and the office of the airline is overseas. So I told her to call the credit card company instead and check if the booking was posted on her credit card. So she called her dad and asked him to check for her.

A few days later, I asked her about her flight booking and she said she's worried that she might not have been able to book the flight but she was charged with her credit card. She kept complaining about it over and over again to her friend who came over that day. Until I thought that the mail could've been routed to her spam mails. And so I told her to check her spam mails. Then she turned to me with a silly-and-ignorant looking face and said, "SPAM???". "Yeah, spam!" I replied. Then she just stared at me for about 30 seconds... then I gave her a stupified look with a huge "?!?" on my face and said, "Spam mails a.k.a Junk mails". So then she looked at her spam mail and found it. "You are so smart! You are so smart!", she said to me. "Why didn't I think of that?", she added with an embarrassed tone.

Her friend, sensing Zoe's self-esteem going down below her knees, tried to make her feel better and said, "Maybe you're just not a techie person... that's why!". And because I still wasn't over the fact that she didn't know what a spam mail is, I blurted out "I'm sorry! (with a very sarcastic and supercilious tone) But you don't have to be techie to know that..." Then I went back to watching t.v.

Yes... I know... sometimes I just can't control myself. I really just have to let it out. hehehe.

Just a sudden thought... is it because she's not a techie person that's why she couldn't figure out that the socket switch is turned off that's why she can't turn on the aircon? Hmmm... Maybe.

(Note to readers: you have to read the post prior to this to understand the aircon remark)

Friday, August 21, 2009

IQ test... FAIL!

We all know by now that Zoe has an EQ that is almost close to zero. Thus, I've given up. I'm really trying not to be bothered with all the stupid and irresponsible things she does. So one day, I decided to test her IQ instead. Nope, I didn't give her a quiz... coz that's too difficult for her. What I did is, I turned off the socket switch (which is very much visible to the naked eye) for the air conditioner in the living room. I was just wondering if she would really be stupid enough not to figure out that the switch is turned off. And as I have expected and honestly hoped for... she didn't! I saw her once trying to turn it on and she didn't ask me because she might be scared to let me know that the aircon is not working. hahaha!

Last weekend, she had a friend who came over and was complaining that how hot it is in the living room and I heard her tell her friend that the aircon is busted. Then the friend asked, "why is it busted?". I didn't hear her response because I was inside my room but I thought the friend would figure out that the switch is turned off. When I came out that night, I checked on the switch and it's still turned off. I grinned. :)


The other night, when I came home, I saw her trying to turn on the aircon again and I almost laughed in front of her. And of course she still didn't mention it to me. Well too bad, because if she asked me, I might tell her that the switch is off. MIGHT.

So let me quote Einstein on this... "Stupidity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results".

Got it Zoe? Oh forget it! Pffffffft!

Thursday, August 13, 2009

She has the Midas touch... only, the other way around!

Probably everyone who had English subject in Elementary school knows the Myth about the touch of Midas. But for the sake of those who don't... Once upon a time, there was a King who was grumpy and greedy. The only thing that made him happy were his gold, he spends the day counting them again and again. One day, while he was busy counting his gold, a messenger was sent by the gods to grant him one wish. Without hesitating the King said, "I want everything I touch to turn into gold", and so it was granted. Everything he touched turned into gold, even her daughter. So there you have it, that's the story behind the Midas touch.

Zoe sort of has that kind of power, and I doubt that it came from the gods. But hers is kinda different in a way that everything she touches turns into trash or becomes broken or gets lost and all the worst things that could happen to a thing. You know what I mean! First thing she broke? Unfortunately, was my laptop.
2nd, the light bulb in our laundry room.
3rd, my favorite limited edition **** glass.
4th, her bathroom sink.
5th, her shower.
6th, the wall clock in the living room. (I really don't know how you can crack a clock without dropping it, so I guess it was really her touch)
7th, a mug where the handle just fell off. (which according to her was already like that when she saw it that night... lier!)
8th, her cellphone
9th, her friend's cellphone which she just borrowed.
10th, Lucy's spare cellphone which she demanded to be given to her. (so evil)

Well, I could keeping going on forever but I think you already get my point. So there... I just hope she doesn't touch me coz I don't want to turn into a shit. :p

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

The biggest blessing in disguise!

Lights out and preparing myself to sleep... suddenly voices from the living room started to get louder and tones are getting higher. Hmmm... something's going on, I'm quite sure Zoe and Lucy are having an argument. This kept going for the next 30 minutes while in my head, im freaking out because i'm imagining weird morbid stuff that could happen if their fight gets bad. Like maybe the next day, I will just wake up to a crime scene where the police will escort me to their headquarters and put me in a room and ask me questions about the crime. Okay, okay, fine my imagination is going wild but with these two weirdos in my house, anything can happen. Anyways, after a couple of more minutes, I no longer hear voices. In my mind I'm thinking "Oh shit, should I go out and check on them? I wonder if Lucy stabbed Zoe with a knife or something"... Yeah I know, it was kinda morbid of me to even think that. tsk tsk tsk. So I went out and pretended that I will get some water from the fridge. Thank God! They're still alive... and still arguing with toned down voices. As I passed by them to make my way to the kitchen, I heard Zoe say "If this is not gonna be healthy for the both of us, then I think it's time for me to turn my back on you". Oooh... serious talk!

The next morning, I was late for work so I wasn't able to talk to Lucy and ask what happened... On my way home after work which was around 11PM, I bumped into Lucy at the building entrance... it's as if I'm really meant to know what was their argument was about. Yes!!! hehehe Well, at least I didn't eavesdrop nor gossiped. I got first hand information. hahaha! So here's how their argument started...

Lucy was complaining about work over the phone with a friend. Zoe kept butting in but Lucy just ignored her until Lucy said something like "C'mon God, I'm not asking for something big, I just want a nice boss... is it too much to ask?" Then Zoe got furious and told Lucy "You shouldn't question your faith Lucy! You should count all your blessings! In fact, I'M YOUR BIGGEST BLESSING. You're very ungrateful to me." I have to emphasize the phrase so I put it all in upper case... my gosh! How conceited is this creature? That's probably the most narcissistic remark ever! I've never heard that sentence arranged in that way before... it's usually, "You're my biggest blessing". I kept laughing while Lucy was still teary eyed while narrating all the nasty things Zoe told her. Of course I apologized for laughing at the matter and told Lucy, "You should've told her that if she really is your biggest blessing, then that's one big hell of a blessing in disguise" Nope that's not harsh... because if I want to be harsh, I would probably say, " If you're a blessing, then I don't want to have any blessing anymore EVER!